In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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