You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
