1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i was born a porn star she said
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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