he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
