If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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