So gin and wine won't be happening again
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sorry my hands just texted you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
