ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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