Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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