great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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