She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
