When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
