I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
