He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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