I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I want to have your abortion
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize