I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We have started to decorate penises.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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