I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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