i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
