I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize