ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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