very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
