why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
