so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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