there's paper in my vomit.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize