he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My hand turned me down
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
