I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
