I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
