Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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