I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
