i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
