There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
