Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
