Plan B is the new Plan A
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
