so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize