why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
