mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize