Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
