I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
