so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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