i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
