i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize