So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
