Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
