That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
