We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
