Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize