Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
