I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
