Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
