Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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