Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
