Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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