i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
