yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
