nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
