It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
