My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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