i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
