good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
