You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
