Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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