I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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