There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
