is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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